Insanity is Hereditary - You Get It From Your Kids
Friday, December 22, 2006
Baby C has decided to help me out with the discipline around here, starting out with washing her own mouth out with soap. Look closely - those are one year old teeth marks in the Irish Spring.

Well, we made it to WalMart. Luckily, I picked the right one. Unluckily, the woman was going to wait for me to shop and then pay for it herself with gift cards from the school. She seemed quite unwilling to just give me the card - I'm not sure why, was she afraid I'd just buy a bunch of booze and Calgon with it - which might make for a Merry Christmas, but not the kind the good Samaritans had in mind, I'm sure. Surveying my cart full of children, with more begging me for a quarter, promising they would be happy forever or at least until the mechanical car stopped, she mentioned "Oh, I guess childcare is an issue for you?"

What??? All the letter said was show up and get your gift card. It did not say "Plan ahead, you get XXX dollars to spend and you have to spend it NOW". It did not say "By the way, leave the kids at home". She must not have kids, because even if I knew a babysitter, it requires more than 18 hours notice to arrange care for six children on a work day - not to mention the expense! Still, it was very different shopping without worrying too much about money! Usually I'm adding in my head, balancing the bills, trying to make sure everyone is 'even'.

We did some early Christmas shopping and the kids all know exactly what they are getting. What I'm getting is a stroke, or maybe an apoplexy, which sounds so much cooler, from pushing 2 carts through the toy aisle at WalMart on the first day of Winter Break, 4 days before Christmas. I hope no one mistakes the nervous tic for flirtatious winking.

We did get quite a few things that I've been wanting for the kids. We got TV trays, so they can each have their own "space" to color, do puzzles, etc., instead of all 5 trying to cram their projects onto the coffee table which is just the right height for Baby C to climb up and sit on.

We got new pillows. Sounds simple, but when you haven't had a pillow since September, and you have really cool Spiderman pillowcases that are languishing in the linen closet, it is a good present.

We got pajamas. I try to get a new pair for the kids at least every Christmas - that way I can easily identify the photos. Plus, they've been sleeping in their clothes a lot. Pajamas cost more than regular clothes, so I've been putting it off for a while. All of the boys chose Superman jammies, but hopefully there will be no trips to the ER since they all have regular twin beds.
Mama Says: Do not ever buy your kids Superman PJ's or anything with a cape if you have bunk beds!

We got toys. Blocks, a xylophone (yes, I did temporarily lose my mind. I picked the thing up and said, Look! Baby C will love this! I bet she loves the tambourine and maracas, too, and as an added bonus will get to see Mama's head actually explode!)
Transformers. Handcuffs, because, you know, those boys of mine don't get in enough trouble. Cap guns. Ponies and dollhouse furniture. Uno and Candyland. So, it will be a good Christmas! I didn't get shopping for that ham yet... maybe the good folk at husband dear's work will come through.

I did manage to purchase a box of therapy for myself.

We arrived home 2-1/2 hours later. The Kirby vacuum people showed up, and gifted me with a 2 liter bottle of Coke. They'll do anything to get a shot at the carpet, I guess. I mentioned THREE times that I had just put the babies down to bed, and actually stepped outside and shut the door to talk to them. They still seemed disappointed that I wouldn't let them shampoo the rug RIGHT THEN AND THERE and took the Coke back. Philistines. That was actually a smart move on their part, my carpet is not looking good right now, with the kids all home from school, the 70 degree weather and playing outside, plus a mega-trip to the store. The homeless laundry has migrated from the couch to baskets on the floor, shoes and socks are everywhere, as my children are absolutely allergic to wearing such instruments of torture in the house, and we have been having packing peanut issues with holiday package arrivals.

A wiggly, brazen puppy showed up. And came into the house. With the cat. He ate a stray peanut butter sandwich, the cat almost took out Mr. P's eye, and all of the peons darling offspring think we have a new pet. The children have named him "PeanutZilla". I put a sign on my car about the lost dog and parked it next to the road, as the poor thing obviously belongs to someone. No collar, but he's little, clean, fluffy and plump. I've caught the little ones taking the sign down a couple of times... last year we had an ill-fated attempt at dog ownership, and I'm afraid they are getting attached, and getting a big disappointment when the real owner shows up right before Christmas!

The dog was pretty much forgotten when Mr. R fell from a tree. He thought he broke his arm, but he was moving it, so I think he will be just fine. He's esconced himself on the couch, crying for his minions to get him water, crackers, toys, and claiming Channel Selection rights. I'm quite the expert on broken arms, having had 4 broken ones and 2 sprains that required casts, and he'll be fine. Ice, Tylenol, a little time to milk it nurse his wounds and he'll be good as new.

Oh, can you see I finally learned to do stikethrough font? I was googling "Strikeout", which is why I persisted in ignorance for so long. Just use the tag DEL. Don't forget to hug it <> and the backslash to turn it off and cross off to your heart's content!

Tags: Family Life, Less is More Christmas Club
posted by Milehimama @ Mama Says at 12/22/2006 08:43:00 AM | Permalink | |