Struggling
Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Later today is the funeral for my FIL. It's 1 am here, and I am still awake.

I am dreading tomorrow - not just the funeral part but I am having such a hard time being around my FIL's girlfriend. See, she pulled the plug without consulting the family. She did not call his sons to be with him. She did call several of her friends and relatives to say their final goodbyes, though.

It was by accident that I stumbled into the room (I wasn't expecting to be at the hospital until several hours later). By the grace of God, I was able to make it home and send husband dear to the VA so he could at least be with his father when he died.

I cannot possibly hear her tell how hard it was for her to get the hospital to release the body and how rude the funeral director was to her and how complicated everything is one. single. more. time. without losing my mind (and definitely my temper).

My heartfelt prayer:

Oh God, please, take this anger away. Remove the hatred from my heart and help me to see this woman as Your creation whom You love. Help me forgive her so I can be a witness to her of Your love. I am a sinner too, help me to forgive her as You have forgiven me. Oh, God, please help me!

Yeah. I'm not always funny and helpful. I am lost, too.

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posted by Milehimama @ Mama Says at 3/25/2008 01:11:00 AM | Permalink | |