Even if your children have official teachers they visit for 7 hours every day?


1. Your explanation of the word "unicycle" devolves into a discussion of Latin roots, including bicycles and unicorns. Your 4 year old makes the intuitive leap and goats will be referred to as "bicorns" forever more. And you don't disagree.

2. Your 8 year old and 5 year old decides to play outside. They play snakes, and one is a reticulated python, the other an anaconda, and they have a heated debate as to whether the python's size as the largest snake makes it a match for the anaconda's recurved teeth and superior camoflauge. They use those exact words without consulting a book. And you let them.

3. You bake bread together, and have a discussion about yeast and gasses. Now your 7 year old eats lots of bread because it burps just like him, but doesn't have to say "excuse me" which makes it way cooler.

4. You have the TV tuned to Nickelodeon on Saturday morning, but the kids decide to play outside instead. They make a giant nest out of leaves and have another argument as to which eagle is going catch prey and which is going to raise the hatchlings.

5. You have Animal Planet, the History Channel, and National Geographic programmed into your "favorites" on the remote. You have no idea which channel MTV is on.

6. Your internet bookmark folder includes the following as separate categories:
Kid Sites (with online math games and StoryNory)
Printables (with Learning Page, ABC Teach, and DLTK kids)
Homeschooling
Field Trip Ideas

7. You actually bought a bag of popsicle sticks because you need more than you can lick, and you know how to use them.

8. You bought an Audobon guide to bugs for the kids 2 years ago, and it's worn out.


9. You know that "octopi" is not the plural of "octopus", despite what Merriam-Webster says, and can explain why - and the kids don't think it's weird that you are telling them these things.
(It's octopuses, or more accurately, octopoda.)

10. You don't allow your children to spell it "alright", again, despite Merriam-Webster. Just because everyone else can't spell doesn't mean you're going to dumb down the kids!

11. You are appalled when your child's first grade teacher tells you that addition and multiplication are not related operations. Your husband listens with one ear to your rants, because you frequently discuss these type of things. You are appalled again when you discover that next year, students will be taught to add 2 digit numbers from left to right. Nobody else cares.

12. You make your own math manipulatives. And you know what a math manipulative is.

13. You own a blank clock stamp, and/or cardboard clocks with moveable hands.

14. You are well versed in the rise and fall of the Roman Empire.

15. You watch a fictional movie on television, and are distracted when the plot involves reading King Solomon's ancient writing, but the symbol on King Solomon's ancient book is the Masonic symbol complete with the Anglo-Saxon "G"... and, again, your husband has heard these things before. You are also distracted by the fact that the pages of the ancient book are written with illustrated manuscripts, which you've studied during your "Medieval" unit and know didn't come about until.... and you can keep going all day. Then, you are distracted when watching a movie about King Louis XIV, the Sun King, and a character comments about how the court revolves around him like the planets revolve around the sun... and you realize that Galileo was excommunicated for those very theories just a few years before, and no courtier worth his salt would have said or believed such a thing in the court of the very Catholic king... because you and the kids read and enjoy history of astronomy books. Again, your husband's heard it before, and again no one else cares until you post on the homeschool support message board.

16. You were forced to find a pattern to make your own beanie babies because your kid wants a Wyvern, and knows the difference between a Wyvern and a Dragon.

17. Your children speak naturally and easily with adults, and are able to incorporate all age levels into their games.

18. You are not intimidated by parent-teacher conferences, because you know that the education of your children is your exclusive God-given domain, which you've just delegated for a little while during the day, so really it's more like an employee review of the teacher. (As taxpayers, we should all have this attitude anyway!)

19. You have an eat-in kitchen, which is a good thing because your dining room is lined with bookshelves containing kid books, books with titles like "Reading Rescue 1-2-3" and "Alphabet Theme-A-Saurus". An entire shelf is dedicated to books which are meant to be copied.

20. You throw away the Barbie learning toy someone gave you, because the alphabet keys were dumb - they use the word "ice" for /i/, "eye" for /e/, and owl for /o/ and you know
that's just wrong. Plus you need the space for air and water learning kit you picked up while shopping at Sam's Club.


Tags: Homeschooling