Well, it's no secret that I've been away from the 'puter for a while.
I've taken a mental vacation, due to a variety of circumstances outside of my control, and several circumstances of my own making.

But with summer fast approaching, and Law and Order reruns getting old, (Does Dick Wolf own USA Network?), I think it's time for a challenge.

Fun Joel, you threw down the gauntlet, and I accept. Even though said gauntlet is not really my color, nor was it on sale.

I'm saved! Just when I was about to throw in the towel, wondering why I ever thought I could write, I came across this handy dandy top ten list. Suddenly, with a few slightly incoherent tips, I, too can write a quality screenplay! I may even try the hypnosis. Weirdly, when you click on his face, it takes you to a Paul McKenna Weight Loss seminar site.

I especially like how in #8 he disses grammar, and then in #9 he forgets to capitalize his sentences. Way to CYA, Nick Dunning!

Also, #3, "use any verb but the obviously useful one", makes a GREAT drinking game. Once I read a book where the author seemed to be allergic to the word "said". The characters gulped, gasped, expounded, broadcasted, grinned, menaced, shouted, and even illuminated, but never said anything. It was a looonnnnggg novel. Also, it involved Star Trek characters. All of them, from every show, including the Irish guy and Cyborg Barbie. A realllllly loooonnnnngggg novel.

I do agree with #4, "Never put a graphic on the cover". Unless you have a killer smiley where you can show a clown playing the aforementioned drinking game and winning Texas Hold'Em using only the numeric keys. *<8od

Hope springs eternal within me. If this hack can sell a screenplay, well, then I can't befar from success. (Okay, maybe 114 pages from success at this point.)

I'd be further along in my little silver screen trip if I hadn't spilled Coke on the keyboard and could use the q,w, and e key without resorting to a one-finger full assault to press it in. I knew I shouldn't have named my main character Quesewequew. Perhaps I also shouldn't give my screenplay the finger, either.

Mama Says:
Be careful in the big city. It's full of evil men out to steal your money. Call me when you get to the hotel.