Sharks on the Net
Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I'm saved! Just when I was about to throw in the towel, wondering why I ever thought I could write, I came across this handy dandy top ten list. Suddenly, with a few slightly incoherent tips, I, too can write a quality screenplay! I may even try the hypnosis. Weirdly, when you click on his face, it takes you to a Paul McKenna Weight Loss seminar site.

I especially like how in #8 he disses grammar, and then in #9 he forgets to capitalize his sentences. Way to CYA, Nick Dunning!

Also, #3, "use any verb but the obviously useful one", makes a GREAT drinking game. Once I read a book where the author seemed to be allergic to the word "said". The characters gulped, gasped, expounded, broadcasted, grinned, menaced, shouted, and even illuminated, but never said anything. It was a looonnnnggg novel. Also, it involved Star Trek characters. All of them, from every show, including the Irish guy and Cyborg Barbie. A realllllly loooonnnnngggg novel.

I do agree with #4, "Never put a graphic on the cover". Unless you have a killer smiley where you can show a clown playing the aforementioned drinking game and winning Texas Hold'Em using only the numeric keys. *<8od

Hope springs eternal within me. If this hack can sell a screenplay, well, then I can't befar from success. (Okay, maybe 114 pages from success at this point.)

I'd be further along in my little silver screen trip if I hadn't spilled Coke on the keyboard and could use the q,w, and e key without resorting to a one-finger full assault to press it in. I knew I shouldn't have named my main character Quesewequew. Perhaps I also shouldn't give my screenplay the finger, either.

Mama Says:
Be careful in the big city. It's full of evil men out to steal your money. Call me when you get to the hotel.
posted by Milehimama @ Mama Says at 5/02/2006 01:51:00 AM | Permalink | |